Today was the test to see how really prepared I was for what we were about to be facing tomorrow with Jake's surgery. We had an appointment with the Child Life Specialist. Michelle met us at the front of the surgery center and helped to prepare Jake and ease my heart! Jake was all smiles as he typically is, which made it much easier for me to get through. Jake got a checklist of exactly what was going to be happening. She took us to the pre-op rooms and showed Jake and let him experience what his visit would be like. He was able to wear a doctor's hat, and smell the bubbled gum scented gas mask that they were going to put him to sleep with. Michelle also wrapped Jake's Rhino Build-a-bear with the dressings that Jake would wake up to so Jake would know exactly what was going to be on his head. Ayden even wanted his Monkey Build-a-bear to have the same dressings! Overall, I think this tour was harder for me than it was for Jake! At the end, Jake and Ayden, got a popsicle for being such good troopers through all this. When it was all said and done I got in the car and immediately started to become flooded with anxiety, fear, helplessness, anger, and all the emotions that come with this situation. I found myself driving us straight to church! I took the boys to the noon mass and met a dear friend of mine who has helped me keep the faith that all will go well and that god is keeping an eye on Jake! Church has always been a quiet haven and place I have went to since college just to take a breath, regroup, and pray for things that were out of my control. I am so thankful that I can go there at any given time and feel the peace that I need to get through the trials that we are put through. Needless, to say, I left church with a little more strength than I had before I got there! It is so easy to get sidetracked and focus on the negative and anger that I have, but I have got to stay focused and keep FAITH that Jake will be okay and get through this, that we will all get through this!
I am SO glad y'all got to work with the Child Life Specialist! You've been on my mind and in my prayers so much lately. We'll be praying extra for Jake (and Mama!) tomorrow!
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